The holiday season is truly my favorite time of the year with all the fun festivities and the opportunity for quality time with family and friends. Then there is something about the ‘down time’ after the craziness that occurs between Thanksgiving and Christmas. A time to sit back and be thankful for all the great things the year has succumbed.
When those small things seem larger than life.
There are times in our life where it may seem difficult to find those moments of clarity or relief. Maybe those ‘down times’ actually produce more anxiety than the opportunity for de-stressing. I know because I have been there. The smallest of things appeared to be the end of the world. The ability to just relax was not a possibility for I felt that I needed to be cleaning or straightening up all the time.
It was a means for me to feel that I had control over my life, keeping my house in the cleanest state possible. How easy do you think this may be when your house is also inhabited by a 7, 6, and 2 year old? Yea, not very easy. I think of it as trying to brush your teeth while having just eaten Oreos. Very difficult.
My anxiety and stress began to form after our home flooded in the Historic Louisiana Flood in 2016. This natural disaster did a number on me. It happened 10 days before my youngest was born. We had no home because it got about 27″ of water in it. Thankfully my in-laws did not flood. This is where we stayed while we were without a home, approximately 10 months.
Life with a new baby, not the same.
Coming home from the hospital with a newborn was not as enjoyable as it was the other 2 times. I was not coming home to my home. I believe life already feels a little chaotic when you come home with a newborn. Add in not going home and having to live in very tight quarters. I was a mixture of feelings and blamed a lot of those feelings on my hormones since I had just had a baby.
It took me 2 years later to learn that it was not just my hormones.
We finally got back in our house and things seemed to look up, but the times were also very busy. Reorganizing a new home and family routine kept my mind preoccupied. Once things began to slow down, those emotions began to creep back in. The littlest of things appeared to be devastating. A great example of this is my toddler spilling a bowl of goldfish on the floor.
I literally would start crying when this would happen. Some days I would even randomly bust out in tears for absolutely no reason. If asked why I was so upset, I could not find a why. I was just sad. There was no explanation. It was when those ‘whys’ started popping up that I knew I needed help. Luckily I had a good friend who had someone to recommend.
Choosing to do something for myself: seeking for outside help.
Making the decision to go see a therapist was a huge deal for me. I did not want to let anyone into my world who I didn’t know. Shoot, I am not the best at expressing my emotions to my own family. For as long as I can remember, I have always been the type to keep a smile on my face. Never would I let anyone know how sad I was on the other side of that smile.
Let me tell you, seeing a therapist was one of the best decisions I have made for ME. When seeing a therapist, you are able to talk and share all things that are on your mind and heart without the fear of feeling discriminated or judge. Being able to slowly empty the emotional jar that had been overfilled since the flood has been life changing.
Never second guess yourself when it comes to your emotions. If you feel that you are crying for no reason or if the smallest of things seem to be too overwhelming, consider finding someone to talk to. Life is too short to not be happy! I am so glad I made the decision a few months ago to get the help I needed.